The Three Musketeers starring Borofergie, Grazer and xyzzy.



At an informal press conference today, Legendary film maker Thelonius P Wilderbeast announced the resurrection of his film company Lowcarb Film Productions Inc., and gave details of the soon to be released remake of the The Three Musketeers. Regular diabetes.co.uk members from the old days will remember the company provided some much needed mirth in the some-times bleak world of diabetes. Wilderbeast a protégée of the Hollywood film moguls Sam Wongamaker and Dino De Dememtis was their most successful Director.

Wilderbeast who first found world acclaim as one of the most forward thinking musicians of his age and was regarded by many as the finest bass player that ever drew breath. Taking early retirement Theo brought an Island in the Caribbean, spending his days fishing and seriously chillin out. At an awards ceremony in LA he was introduced to Wongamaker and thus began his meteoric rise in motion picture film business.

One of Wongamaker’s companies Lowcarb Film Productions Inc. was failing fast. In its day it was a big earner, but sales of adult movie videos were plummeting. Theo was tasked with turning the ailing company around. On arrival at the studio he was appalled, it was a shambles, but had one redeeming factor. The star of hundreds of porn films, the one and only Monty Beantipper, was on a five year retainer. Immediately Theo realised he had a future mega star on his hands, but a complete change in direction was required. Short of funding and time of the essence Theo had a stroke of genius. He would re-make old classics but with twist.

His first film Lowcarb Picnic at Hanging Rock brought critical acclaim, but failed to make money at the box office. Swiftly followed up by The Cod Father 1 2 and 3 the money started rolling in. It was with the remake of Jonathan Demme’s masterpeice The Silence of the Spam’s Theo’s and his star Beantipper careers went into the stratosphere. Could this be followed up ? yes it could. Within twelve months they had made and released their Magnum Opus, a remake of the gangster classic, Sam Peckinpah’s 1974 masterpiece ‘Bring Me The Lunch Of Alfredo Garcia’.

This time Wilderbeast is using three relative newcomers, Borofergie, Grazer and xyzzy. When asked why he is not using his regular stars, Eddie, Graham and John, Theo thought they were too old and ugly for the starring roles. Also they were at the pre-production stage and appearing in his remake of the Alan Clarke film SCUM !

Further details will be announced soon.