'Shoes on or off indoors? What your household rules say about you'

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Today's post is quite a long read, but after you've read it I do hope you share your thoughts in the comments section ...

"When Gwen, a 35-year-old lawyer from London, first met her fiancé, there was one notable difference in their upbringings.

Not politics, class or any of the other typical dividing lines, but an everyday issue which cleaves our nation into opposing camps.

“He grew up in a shoes-off house, whereas in mine we always kept them on,” says Gwen. “But I loved him so, eventually, I got into the habit of taking my shoes off when I came in from work.”

Still, old habits die hard, Gwen adds. “Even now, I’d never dream of asking someone to take off their shoes if they came over for drinks or a dinner party,” she says. “It kills the whole mood and shoes are an important part of your outfit. It breaks my heart when I go to a house party and see a huge pile of shoes at the door because I know I’ll have to take my nice boots off even though they go with the dress.”

Underpinning the issue of what to do with footwear at the threshold is a sense that our choice reveals something fundamental about ourselves.

Are those who operate a zero-tolerance policy on trainers indoors little more than control freaks – a humdrum, fastidious bunch? Or is it fairer to take aim at the shoes-on brigade as unhygienic slobs, with no respect for order?

‘This topic sparks huge debates’

Dr Martha Deiros Collado is a behavioural psychologist who recently posted about the great shoes-on vs -off debate on Instagram, where she has more than 270,000 followers.

“All hell broke loose in the responses,” she jokes. “This topic sparks such huge debates and people are very passionate about their views on it. I think it comes down to cultural norms and identity associations.

“Many of us have learnt our standpoint on this subject growing up and so it’s deeply ingrained and feels very personal. It’s also to do with our homes, which for most of us is a sacred, intimate space.”

Collado thinks that “shoegate” really kicked off after Covid, when we were all spending more time in our homes and worrying about germs. Indeed, hygiene seems to be the biggest motivation for those who demand footwear be removed at the door. As a tribe, they almost universally seem to judge anyone doing the opposite as “gross”.

Science suggests they may have a point. A University of Arizona study found that 96 per cent of shoes tested positive for coliform bacteria, which is commonly found in faecal matter, and more than a quarter carried E. coli.

Footwear worn outdoors has also been found to carry heavy metals (such as lead), allergens (pollen) and toxic chemicals (pesticides) – many of which can lead to serious health issues.

But for all the red flags, are you really putting your health at risk if you don’t remove your shoes? Not all scientists say so.

“I think this is more about etiquette than germs,” says George Lomonossoff, a professor of virology at the John Innes Centre in Norwich. “Yes, there’s a chance you might have something unpleasant on the sole of your shoes like chewing gum or dog faeces but I think you’d know about that pretty quickly.

“In terms of germs, respiratory viruses such as Sars aren’t carried on footwear, they’re in the air or on your hands. Likewise, E. coli is [typically] in food and transmitted through the oral-faecal root so again it’s down to not washing hands. If no one in your household is immunocompromised and you’re cleaning your home regularly, I don’t think you should worry about wearing shoes indoors.”

That said, Lomonossoff does take his shoes off when he gets home from work. “But that’s more about comfort than hygiene,” he says.

Differing cultural norms

In many countries, taking off your outdoor footwear is common practice.

Asian and Middle Eastern homes are often designed to accommodate the custom, featuring larger hallways with spaces to sit in so you can put on and take off your shoes. In many countries in such parts of the world, it is a sign of respect as well as cleanliness to remove footwear when entering homes, schools and places of worship.

In other places, taking off your shoes is linked to more mundane concerns. Mel Duettchen, a personal trainer from Quebec, Canada, says stripping down to your socks is the norm, given the climate demands heavy-duty footwear for long stretches of the year.

“Everyone wears snow boots outside and will bring slippers or nice shoes to wear inside people’s homes,” she says. “I guess it started as a practicality because of the bad weather but now it’s become tradition. Even when you go to the hairdresser or the doctor’s you will be offered slippers or shoe coverings if you’ve forgotten your own indoor shoes.”

But the shoes-off-indoors policy has caused problems when Duettchen’s relations have visited from her native Germany.

“I forgot to remind my mother-in-law to bring her slippers to a party,” says Duettchen. “She was super annoyed with me because she had no socks on, and her feet were cold. And my own mother was very put out when she went to the doctor’s and had to take off her boots.”

Irritating as it may be for some, at least there’s consensus. In the UK, the rules vary from household to household.

Collado believes socio-economic factors (such as people’s housing, class and where they live) are at the heart of the inconsistency.

“There’s an idea that if you’re from a higher socio-economic background you might be shoes off, but in working-class areas people are more likely to keep them on,” she says.

But that doesn’t always hold true, of course. “It’s also down to your environment – if you’re in a flat you’re not going outside so you’ll be shoes off, but if you’re in a rural area or you have a garden you might be going in and out more so you’ll keep them on,” says Collado.

Town vs country

Lou Harrison, a 38-year-old estate agent from Warwickshire, says there’s definitely a rural-urban divide.

She regularly visits rural manor houses for her job, which almost invariably operate a shoes-on policy, particularly in downstairs areas.

“People are almost proud of it, they shout, ‘Oh keep your shoes on! We have dogs!’” she says. “Many of them have stone flagstaff floors. You’d be freezing if you went barefoot. It’s not exactly a beach in Thailand.”

Harrison says that in her own farmhouse, where she lives with a dog, kittens and two young children, shoes are kept firmly on everywhere.

“We’re dashing in and out the house all the time,” she says. “It just wouldn’t be practical. I understand the shoes-off policy if you’ve got expensive cream carpets or something, but we’re more natural fabrics or rugs you can chuck in the washing machine. My kids are really confused when they go to a friend’s house and they’re asked to take their shoes off. And so am I, to be honest.”

The wedge seems to exist between differing generations, too. A 2023 survey by Churchill Home Insurance revealed that 78 per cent of 18- to 34 year olds have a shoes-off rule in their home, compared with 51 per cent of people over the age of 55.

“Whether it’s because today’s houses tend to be warmer, or down to an increased focus on comfort, it seems that a distinct generational shift has taken place, with older generations significantly more likely to keep their shoes on at home,” said Sarah Khan, the head of Churchill Home Insurance, at the time.

As habits change, some appear to be trying to strike a compromise. Harrison has encountered home owners – “normally in newbuild flats” – who offer up plastic shoe coverings to guests reluctant to do away with their footwear.

In many countries, it is a sign of respect as well as cleanliness to remove footwear when entering homes, schools and places of worship

But others, such as Anna, a 32-year-old fashion PR from Manchester, say they have no interest in adapting. Going shoes-off indoors is “disturbing”, she says, arguing that our floors are often just as dirty as our soles.

“My friends with kids often ask me to take my shoes off when I go around, and then I’m stepping in Play-Doh and half-eaten fish fingers half the time. It puts me off visiting them,” says Anna. “And I don’t want to be at a party and looking at someone’s ingrown toenail or sock with a hole in it.”

The ultimate wedge issue

Petty as it may seem, Collado says she’s heard of friendships and relationships becoming strained because of disagreements over wearing shoes in the house or not.

“You get a lot of personality types who are rule breakers and don’t like being told what to do,” she says. “They feel that being asked to remove their footwear doesn’t respect their personal boundaries. Equally those who feel strongly about being a shoes-off household worry about being seen as uptight and joyless.”

So how to avoid a shoe-on / shoe-off showdown? Collado says it all comes down to respecting the person whose home you are entering. “You wouldn’t enter a mosque or a cathedral dressed inappropriately and someone’s home should be treated in the same way,” she says.

But Collado may be biased: she lives in a strict shoes-off home and even provides slippers for her guests – apparently the free ones typically found in hotels are best suited for the purpose.

“But my mother- and father-in-law have got the message now,” she says. “They’ve started bringing their own slippers every time they come round.”"

Words above taken from article seen here

Well, I hope you made it to the end of the article!

Me, I'm more of a shoes off at the door and slippers on type 😊

All the best Jan