Total Pageviews

Wednesday, 9 January 2019

Ya Gotta Larf !

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, "I clocked you at 50 miles per hour, sir." 

The driver says, "Goodness, officer, I had it on cruise control at 30; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating." Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: "Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control" 

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, "Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !!?" 

The wife smiles demurely and says, "Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher." As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, "Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?"

The officer frowns and says, "And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic £75 fine." The driver says, "Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket."

The wife says, "Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving."

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, "WILL YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??" 

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, "Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?"

"Only when he's been drinking"  

Eddie

22 comments:

Tom said...

...oh boy!

William Kendall said...

Hah! Good one!

DUTA said...

Usually it's the kid who discloses what should not be said, but ..with the wife it's sounds funnier:)

Conniecrafter said...

Oh can you imagine if that were true

Carla from The River said...

Oh my! ;-)

Angie said...

I'm larfing!!! Happy New Year to you!

Debbie said...

Hysterical!!! All from a knitter!!!

Margaret-whiteangel said...

lol
Oh i like that one.

Sue (this n that) said...

lol, yes, that was funny :D)

Bleubeard and Elizabeth said...

Brilliant. I didn't see the punch line coming.

Valerie-Jael said...

Good one! Thanks for the smile, Valerie

Iris Flavia said...

Oh, my! :-)

Author R. Mac Wheeler said...

bwahaha

The Happy Whisk said...

Hahaha. You got a laugh out of me at that end bit. That's pretty good.

mamasmercantile said...

Definitely one to share with my husband...lol!

Out on the prairie said...

lol

bill burke said...

Now that's a good one! :)

sandy said...

LOLOLOL - oh that's a good one - so funny!!!

Phil Slade said...

Nice one Eddie.

Sandi said...

Hahahaha!

Kezzie said...

Haha, I did wonder where this was going!

Magic Love Crow said...

LOL! Excellent!