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Saturday, 26 November 2011

Blood Glucose Monitoring Break-Thru the no test strip BG Meter !

After months of speculation, and denials from Glugo Pharmaceuticals, the amazing no test strip required, blood glucose meter was unveiled at the Savoy Hotel on Friday. NHS buyers and the usual pharma hacks were clearly left stunned, when the Glugo MK1 was presented by Endo super star Professor Iver Knobheadski, Professor Emeritus at the globally renowned, Broadmore Institute of Diabetes research. After a brief demonstration, Knobheadski explained the rationale behind the new Glugo MK1. The BG meter that never reads higher than 5.4mmol.

“For years the NHS and DUK have pushed a diet that was based on sugar/starch. This has lead to the gruesome statistics as published by the government. Obesity has gone through the roof together with type two diabetes. This has lead to a huge increase in depression for diabetics. This meter will be a life saver for those that follow the eat carbs with every meal dogma, depression banished at a stroke or heart attack or amputation etc. etc.”

Knob some of you may recall, stunned the world when he recommended a 10000 calorie a day 100% carb diet for the newly diagnosed, he argued most diabetics would be dead within five years and would save the NHS a fortune. This hypothesis did not go down well with the diabetic community, but was heralded as a break through by many NHS dietitions.
Glugo’s Sales and Marketing Director Rick Ripoff could hardly contain himself when he stated “Our meter could not have come at a better time. With the raising of HbA1c guidelines by NICE, the withdrawal of test strips for almost all type two diabetics and the cut back of many approved diabetes drugs, this product will sell itself”

Priced to sell at only £199 postage free we know you will be delighted. Never worry about high BG numbers again.

Coming soon, our state-of-the-art weighing scales. The more you weigh, the lower the recorded weight. Sure to be a monster hit, a must for all those who love those carbs and meds.

Should you become blind or minus a limb, or suffer kidney failure or heart attack using our products, please contact our Lawyers, Bullshite, Whitewash and Koverupp of New York.


Anonymous said...

Edd you're a nutter, but not half as daft as the NHS and DUK. Keep up the good work.

blackdog said...

Great! This will go hand in hand with the latest developement from my company, Garden Shed Medical Devices. The 'no-prick' Lancet. No pain, no nasty blood, no infection possibility. What's more it lasts forever!

Can't wait to contact Glugo to offer a special dual marketing deal. Obviously would be happy to give the usual commission for this introduction. Brown envelope of course. I'm sure I can interest the local Diabetic Clinic to stock both. Orange juices all round!

Ivan Anitschkow Jr.

Anonymous said...

Is this new technology? maybe this is how the idiots reckon they can eat a variety of carbs (bread, spuds, porride etc.) with little effect on BGs.

graham64 said...

I should mention that in a joint venture with Ivan Anitschkow Jr and his company, we have developed an A1c Now kit that gives a constant A1c of 5.1%, this is guaranteed to reduce the cost of diabetic medications for the NHS.

Lowcarb team member said...


Spare a thought to Carbo’s misfits and miscreants please! Some are addicted to carbs and Orbilstat. None of us are the same eh.


Anonymous said...

Perhaps there exists some competition? Some time in the past there were rumours of a diabetic reporting over a number of years a constant HbA1c of 4.9%.