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Wednesday, 9 November 2011

We are going commercial !

After months of turning down commercial advertising, we have decided to take the money. We are launching a range of products that satisfy the most dedicated anti low carbers. Our first product, the diabetic hamper. Packed with bread, rice, pasta, potatoes and factory produced food. Approved and endorsed by Carbo at the Starch Addicts Institute.

A clearly ecstatic Carbo gushed “I have been waiting for a product like this for years ! Guaranteed obesity and will do wonders for my Oribilstat sales”

At a recent press launch, sales and marketing director Rick Ripoff was clearly ecstatic when he stated. “ This product fills a niche in the market place, other diabetes sites sell hampers that are only highly dangerous, but our hamper takes diabetic dietary stupidity to a new level. We guarantee hyperglycaemia within one hour or your money back. Our diabetic hamper is 100% sat fat free, and will satisfy the most carb addicted ! This is a product for connoisseurs of carb, and it’s a winner if ever I saw one”

Priced to sell at only £199 + £15 carriage we know you will be delighted. Special launch deal order two and carriage free. Order three and claim your free state-of-the art carbon fibre white stick and the beginners guide to Braille.

Coming soon, our no test strip required blood glucose meter. Sure to be a monster hit. Whatever your BG, it never reads higher than 5.4, a must for all those who think the NICE guidelines are safe. If you love those carbs and meds. this is the BG meter for YOU !

Should you become blind or minus a limb, or suffer kidney failure or heart attack using our products, please contact our Lawyers, Bullshite, Whitewash and Koverupp of New York.


Anonymous said...

"I just DON'T believe it !"

Victor Meldrew !!

Anonymous said...

I'm with you on this Victor 'I just don't believe it' but I enjoyed the read. Once again something for everyone on this blog .. thanks