"Yesterday I was at my local Sainsbury's store buying a large bag of Winalot dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog.
What did she think I had an elephant? So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Winalot Diet again. I added that I probably shouldn’t, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 2 stone before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load your pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story.)
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food poisoned me I told her no, I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's ass and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was
laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Sainsbury's."
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5 comments:
That joke is as old as the hills.
Maybe, but it made me chuckle big time ! Have you got a better joke ?
Eddie
Hats off to Sid this time for once,absolutely brilliant joke which cracked me up!
Simon
I thought Sid was on your foe list Simon.
Anonymous said...
"I thought Sid was on your foe list Simon."
Would have thought that only applied to Sid's views on diabetes not his old jokes.
Talking of old jokes I'm sure Sid will enjoy this one!
A blonde calls her husband at work one day and asks him, "Can you help me when you get home?"
"Sure," he replies. "What's the problem?"
"Well, I started a really hard puzzle and I can't even find the edge pieces."
"Look on the box," he said. "There's always a picture of what the puzzle is."
"It's a big rooster," she said.
The husband arrives home and tells his blonde wife, "Okay, put the corn flakes back in the box."
Graham
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