How the NHS works for type two diabetics.

The diagnosis.

Hi Doc how did my blood tests turn out ? sorry Fred it’s as I suspected, I’m afraid you’re a type two diabetic. Um, so what do I have to do ? Take these Metformin tablets twice a day and come back in six months time. Is that it, is that all I have to do ? Well, cutting back on sugar will help you, get a bit more exercise in and change your diet, here’s a book sponsored by Takeda, it tells you what to eat. Thanks Doc, it says here to base my meals on lot’s of starchy carbohydrate foods and to eat spuds, bread, rice and couscous, that’s great Doc, they are my favourite foods. ( Doctor looks slightly embarrassed and fakes a friendly smile)

So Doc, what’s all this malarkey about high blood glucose numbers ? It says here it can lead to blindness, kidney failure, heart attack and leg amputations, this is a wind up surely ? No, I’m afraid it’s true Fred. Jesus Christ !!! these Metformin pills must be amazing if they can stop all that. (Doctor struggles not to grimace) Tell me Doc, what causes blood sugar to go to dangerous levels ? Err, Err, Err eating starchy carbohydrate foods like spuds, bread, rice and couscous. Come on Doc you're pulling my chain, the book says I should eat that sort of grub. See you in six months Fred, keep taking the pills. Gloria, send in the next patient please.

Six months later.

Good morning Fred take a seat, how are you doing ? Well to be honest Doc I am a bit worried, I still feel ill, my eyesight is still a bit blurred and I’m knackered out most of the time, even my old todger ain’t working so good these days. Well that’s par for the course Fred, diabetes is not much fun is it. Tell me Doc, I have been hearing about BG meters and test strips and that they can tell me what my BG levels are, any chance of one on my prescription ? No Fred, for type two’s they are a complete waste of time. Why is that Doc ? Well if you tested your BGs, and realised how high they were running, you would become very worried, you might even get severely depressed, and then I would have to treat your mental condition. Take it from me Fred, severe depression, is the last thing you want.

Doc. I joined a diabetes forum, and a couple of geezers on there called Fergus and Eddie, reckon cutting back on the grub, you and the dietition told me to eat, would help me no end, what do you think ? Um, I have heard of this Eddie, he is a total menace to the forum and diabetes blog community, he is costing commercially lead forums and pharma companies a small fortune, he has no respect for most forum moderators and he’s a complete nutter, keep well away from him Fred, he’s nothing but trouble.

So this low carb lark he pushes is a no,no. Fred, what can some jumped up nobody, know about controlling type two diabetes ? Well Doc he is always going on about a bloke called Bernstein and he reckons Bernstein is the man when it come to controlling blood sugar levels, have you heard of Bernstein Doc ? Bernstein…….. Bernstein……., didn’t he write West Side Story ?


Six months later.

Hi Doc, how was my latest HbA1c test ? Unbelievable ! looking at your tests, unbelievable, sorry Fred they must have got it wrong, these tests can’t be right. What's the problem Doc ? Well it says here your HbA1c has gone from 12 to 5.5, your trig levels have gone from 4 to 0.8, your HDL cholesterol has gone up and your LDL has gone down, these blood numbers can’t be right, it’s totally impossible to achieve these numbers. The last time I saw these sort of numbers they were for a 25 year old iron man competitor. Sorry Fred we will have to do the tests again.

Why are they impossible Doc ? I have been low carbing for six months. Lots of diabetics have done this, by low carbing they have lost weight, and years on, they are still doing well. Fred, do you seriously think, a bunch of low carb barmy army recruits, know more about diabetes control than I do ? Why do you think most of those low carbers have been banned from diabetes forums, I’m telling you, Fred they are nutters and trouble makers, have you seen the amount of fat those people eat ? Good grief Fred, those low carbers are dead men walking. That’s another thing Doc, they are always going on about walking. Exactly Fred, they have lost the plot !

Doc, I’ve been hearing about a guy called Gary Taubes, and he reckons it’s the carbs and sugar that leads to obesity, heart disease and type two diabetes, and not saturated fats. Ah yes, I have heard of Gary Taubes, wasn’t he the drummer with Mott The Hoople ?

So, you don’t rate low carbing Doc ? Well if it works for you Fred stick with it, but no I wouldn’t recommend it, who but a complete idiot, would take diabetes diet advice from some nutter on the internet ? Honestly Fred I sometimes wonder why I bother to turn up here some days. It’s patients like you that make this job a misery at times. On your way out, ask my secretary to come in would you, see you in six months Fred.

Gloria, place a note on Fred’s medical file. Patient far too happy and relaxed for a diabetic, suspect possible alcohol or narcotics abuse.

Eddie