He went on to say "this reprobate is costing big pharma and junk food a small fortune, and must be caught at the earliest opportunity, this psychopath is a menace to society" He also said "Dietitians beware! This man once ate a Dietitians laptop, with a nice Chianti and some Fava beans and his pulse never went over 60 BPM"
An identikit picture has been issued, and the Nation is on full alert. The madman is known under various aliases such as FastEddie, Fatbird and other names too numerous to mention.
The Sun
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