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Saturday 6 August 2011

Roger "keto-warrior" Jenkins, MBE

Invented "pro-active" low-carbing in 1972 after nearly choking to death on a boiled potato. Awarded MBE in 1994, for services to semicolon.


Ketogenesis, Chapter 16, Verse 9:"Rejoice, for the tent of low-carb is with mankind, and normoglycemia resides with them. Anyone conquering carbohydrate will inherit these things. Outside are the carb-ridden dogs and those who are disgusting in their starchy filth, and all those who are liking and carrying on a carb-fuelled lie."

Sir Monty Beantipper

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think you will find it's an offence to claim a title you are not entitled to.
It's also insulting to the people who have earned that title.

Anonymous said...

It is indeed an offence to claim entitlement to an honour to which you are not entitled, especially if you're imaginary and the honour is a made up one. Furthermore, if I were and was to compile a list of skillful users of our many and glorious punctuation marks (which I won't and ain't), Roger certainly wouldn't be anywhere on that list.

I am incandescent. Probably with rage. Can I unclench my buttocks yet?

William P. Danderup, MBE, BO, VD, FSH, NSOH.

omer dalors said...

Monty Beantipper should be crucified for cruelty to animals. He is not a Sir either.

Queenie said...

"He is not a Sir either."

For your information Sir Monty was bestowed with a Knighthood at my palatial pad in 2007.

Kind Regards
Liz

Anonymous said...

Monty was indeed made a Knight of the Garter in 2007. He also spent a night in garters during his time at Eton. All photos of the incident have since been acquired and destroyed.

Anonymous said...

I categorically deny any knowledge of the garter incident, and I have assurances that George an Nick were not involved either.

Dave

Anonymous said...

Wait a minute; are you claiming that things on the internet are not all true?

Also, are you claiming that people can make 'jokes' and that these 'jokes' may and/or may not contain fiction?

Also, by extension, are you claiming that fiction, as a bit of fun, is available out there on the internet and/or elsewhere?

Also, oh god, I can't go on...

Lord Lucan

(for it is I; not that one, the other one)