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Sunday, 12 February 2012

Lord Beantipper to head Wallycorker enquiry !

The world of diabetes blogs and forums is in turmoil today, when news leaked on the recent Wallycorker prize fiasco. There was uproar, the moment news broke of the award going to long term ‘pro-active’ low carber Eddie Mitchell. For a long time, the diabetes forum and blog world has been awash with rumours and half stories. Behind closed doors, talk of trustee bribery, corrupt reporters, cash filled brown envelopes, bent police officers, and all night bunga-bunga parties in isolated country mansions.

The new police investigation is to be run by the Mets. Chief Superintendent Fred Knacker. Knacker believed to be un-corruptible, is no stranger to the diabetic world. It was Knacker that investigated the infamous Carbo case, a case that rocked the forum community to it’s very foundations.

The Wallycorker prize, the most prestigious award in the world of diabetes, and regarded by many above a Nobel prize, has always been highly controversial. Set up by the highly secretive Roger ‘Keto Warrior’ Jenkins to honour the legendary Wallycorker, the first man to be banned twice from under the same name. Recent award winners include type two diabetic and lowcarb expert Dr. Jay Wortman. Jay was also banned twice under the same name.

The enquiry start date has yet to be announced.


Angry of Chipping Sodbury said...

Mitchell is a complete madman a blight on the face of humanity. He should be stripped of the award. A five year stretch in Kens dark dungeon of a forum is what he deserves. If I had my way he would be flogged.

To the manor SORN said...

If I had my way, Eddie would be forced to dress up as a very pretty pantomime horse and made to dance provocatively outside Lord Monty's motorhome until nature took its very coarse course.

This might help jog his memory about the last probe that Monty headed. The one that ended in a nasty infection and a lengthy court case.

Lowcarb team member said...

There is growing anti-trustee sentiment on diabetic forums and blogs after trustee member Eddie Mitchel was awarded the Wallycorker prize. Now there are reports that Eddie has been involved in a previous attempt to award the prize to a trustee member –on David’s forum. Community activist John Wilson said the situation is getting more heated and that the trustees have only increased the level of distract from the community. He argued that the trustees are not supporting and protecting the community and the people are coming out strongly in opposition to what the trustees have begun to stand for. The trustees have promised a fair investigation, but John said that in spite of the Chief Superintendent success in the Carbo case, it made no sense that those committing the crimes investigate themselves - that's not justice. There was also the disastrous spectacle of previous involvement of a fat ex-policeman in the diabetes community which no one would wish to revisit.

Whitby Popular Front

Unnamed source said...

Say what you like about Eddie but he sure knew how to throw a party. His last bash lasted over two days. Jeez it very near croaked me. If it wasn’t for me Gluco tab’s I wouldn’t be here today. That Graham is one funny geezer and what a lad, no wonder they call him the tripod.

Citizen Smith said...

John we revolutionarys must stick together, if you need any help brother just give us the word.

Tooting Popular Front

Gagging order said...

Please let it be known. Any further malicious comments regarding Lord Beantipper’s private life will result in proceedings in the High Court. I respectfully remind commentors, that the far reaching Newbold enquiry confirmed. Sado Masochism, Bestiality and Chicken strangling was considered normal practise for Old Etonians, Members of the House of Lords and disgraced forum moderators.

Smithson Grovel, Senior Partner. Bullshite Whitewash and Koverupp of New York.

Anonymous said...

Mitchell may be a complete madman but boy he's done wonders to push the low carb cause.

Seems nothing can hold this guy and his team back.

Keep on doing what you're doing -

Anonymous said...

To use a well worn phrase 'Welcome to the Crazy world of diabetes'.

It sure doesn't get crazier than here
BUT I'm loving it


Lowcarb team member said...

Plans for the Wallycorker enquiry have been thrown into disarray after leaked information of Lord Beantipper’s private life and accusations of the Chief Superintendent Fred Knacker trolling on diabetes forums.

At a bad tempered press conference the Chief Superintendent angrily denied that he had ever used the names Ken, Wrunkelt or Albert. At one point he shouted to the journalists “I’m barely computer literate, I’m only just capable of cut and paste”. When one intrepid journalist asked “Cugilla?” the Chief Superintendent had what can only be described as a hysterical fit shouting “You’re all banned”, “Four is the floor”, “Banned, banned, banned”.

As the journalists hastily left the press conference, whispers of a conspiracy began to be heard. Had Eddie Mitchell leaked against Lord Beantipper and Fred Knacker? Fearing the organisational skills of Lord Beantipper and the forensic skills of Fred Knacker had Mr Mitchell sabotaged his own enquiry?

Court Reporter

Press Hack said...

In a hastily convened press conference tonight, Eddie stated. “My day in court will be coming soon. I will completely dismantle the information put forward by idiotic dietitions, the Carbo’s and the Kenny boys of this world. Don’t tell me a diabetic can eat tins of celebration chocolates, toast and other junk, and hold safe BG numbers and weight” before exiting to his favourite pub.

Mr Murdoch said...

I categorically deny any involvement in the phone hacking of any of the parties mentioned in this article.