Goonilever fights back against butter.

As sales of margarine plummet, and butter becomes ever more popular, Goonilever are fighting back. At a packed press conference at the Wembley Conference Centre in London today, head of research, Professor Novro Claphanger stunned the audience, when he unveiled hitherto top secret, operation daisy. Goonilever have invested over two $billion creating a herd of mechanical cows. When a Daily Mail hack asked "why Goonilever were trying to reinvent the wheel" Claphanger appeared to have a minor seizure. The hack was swiftly pepper sprayed in the face, and hauled out of the building by two burly security guards.

"A big part of the problem for margarine is the revival of butter after decades of being held up as the culprit for clogged arteries and expanding waistlines.

Consumers have come to see it as more wholesome and natural than margarine. Last year, unit sales of butter and butter blends in the U.S. climbed 4.2% from a year earlier while sales of margarine plummeted 8.9%, according to data from Chicago-based research firm IRI"

More information here.

The Sun