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Saturday 23 January 2016

Announcing The DCUK Carboholics Symposium 2016

Hello my carboholic friends this is the one you have all been waiting for. Sponsored by Krispie-Krap donuts and Gluggo Pharmaceuticals, this is the carb blow out of the year. Awarded five stars in the DUK good grub guide for ten years in a row, this is the big one. Win a £1000 in the 'Who has the highest BG number contest' and the Gluggo award is up for grabs for the diabetic who consumes the most medication on the day.

We have all your old favourite guest speakers plus a few new up and coming stars.

Phoenix has some great new ideas on basing your diet on 60% + carbs and will debut the latest Gluggo insulin pump, the first pump to hold one thousand units of insulin. Phoenix will be telling us why Hope Warshaw is her number one Guru. Check out her Carbsane impersonation, it’s truly side splitting. Phoenix will also show you how to wipe the smile off the face of a lowcarber, just when they have achieved non diabetic BG numbers on nil meds. Check out her technique for finding out of date discredited rat studies, and her method of posting live links to misinformation is a master class.

World renowned portion control expert Professor Sid Bonkers has some great money saving tips, and will demonstrate, how to eat well for a month on one grain of rice, three cornflakes and a splash of low fat milk. Old timers know the Prof is the worlds leading expert in forum thread sabotage, don’t miss Sid’s lecture, book early it’s always a sell out. Sid, last years winner in the donut eating contest, is fresh out of rehab, and is odds on favorite to take the title this year, although rank outsider, A M Breadvan has been tipped as a possible winner.

Old favourite Nobhead will be back, and those that have not seen his act are in for a big treat. Nob, some of you may know is famous for his catch-phrase ‘I agree with Sid’ and is without doubt the best straight man's stooge in the world. Long accepted, as the worlds leading expert in talking, but saying nothing, his toadying up to the forum admin is legendary, don’t miss Nob’s talk.

Back by popular demand is the Cherub. Holding HbA1c for over three years of 4.9, and only increasing to 5.1, when we commented on this blog re. her uniquely stable control, her low GI lecture is a must. Holding non diabetic numbers for over five years, on nil meds, and the worlds most secret daily food plan and diet, will this be the year this miraculous information is released. We wait with baited breath.

For all you budding forum mods, we have ‘Anna the banner’ to give you all the tips you need. Long regarded as the worlds thread lock Queen, and holder of the Cugila lifetime achievement award for Stalinist forum moderation, she is not to be missed. Anna will teach you how to spot a low carber from a mile away, and why they must be banned, thread locked and post edited at the earliest opportunity.

Backing up Anna will be the big pharma shill known as the Osidge. The Osidge has some fantastic ideas for taking the piss, and will show you how to get your forum members wound up and leaving in droves. Together they make a fantastic double act.

Daisy, long time forum mod and ex Kenny boy shill, is the three word game master, and is the cut and paste (dross to the newly diagnosed) supremo, she will teach you how to post year in and year out, with not one original idea in your head.

Well folks that’s this years line up. We have assembled some of the most vehement anti lowcarbers and craziest forum mods in the world. Stand by for confirmation regarding the man with the 'Shiny White Teeth' special guest star appearance.

Don’t be a Muggo shoot up with Gluggo. You know it makes sense, why fight it !

Greg Gluggo CEO Gluggo Pharmaceuticals Inc.

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