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Saturday 12 April 2014

The Monkey House Edition 2

The good guys

All round good guy and the voice of sanity Andy runs in the London marathon tomorrow. Not bad for a recently diagnosed diabetic, who was earning a few quid on the side not so long ago as a Pavarotti double. Mo the mod not to be confused with Mo Farah (arguably the best long distance runner in the world) is doing a great job, and is showing no signs of mental illness, yet. Many a mod at the flog has gone completely batshit trying to keep that old wreck afloat. Borofergie appears to be back to his best form on the flog, interesting posts and never slow in taking on the carboholics and med's shills. 

With so much good news on the forum regarding low carbing it's never hard to find a good news story, everyday more success is being reported. Which is in total contrast to the non runners, portion control and low GI. 

The scum bags

Long term misinformation and wind up artist Sid Bonkers, aka the village idiot, is back to what he does best, stirring up trouble at the flog. When I saw a headline with a supposed link to breast cancer for those on a high fat diet, I said to Jan, the antis will be orgasmic over this dross article. To be honest I expected Phoenix or the cherub to have posted it up, but no, Bonkers could not resist it. For those not in the know, Bonkers is an invalid that believes portion control is a viable method of controlling diabetes. His way of starting the day is "17 grams of cornflakes and a splash of semi skimmed milk". Note 17 grams, I once quoted him as saying 16 grams and he went ape shit. Borofergie demolished the non article comprehensibly, but the Bonkers one is up for a punch up, if this thread takes off, watch out for one of the clique bellowing to the mods to lock the thread, when they realise they have made complete pratts of themselves, nothing changes.

Kman is back on the flog requesting people to PM him/her and has decided against starting a blog, this comes as no surprise. Flog health warning, be very careful with members who are always looking for members to PM them. There are some real wack jobs out there and they don't come more wacky than Kman.

The Lunacy and bullshit column

Lot's of fun and games over at the flog recently, the forum had it's first live suicide the other day. Yes you read that right. Some retard who nicked someone's identity, joined up with the biggest tale of woe since Kmans bullcrap. The awake members saw through the subterfuge immediately, even the normally half asleep Big Giv smelt a rat from the start, then went back to sleep leaving the complete bolo to run for six pages. No announcement from Giv to the members who had been taken in, one poor soul threatened to report forum good guy and comedian Andy to the Police, for aiding and abetting the spoofer to top themselves. No public announcement or explanation from Giv, but she was posting the next day talking about her pussy (behave you animals it's her pet cat). Never let it be said Giv is not a valuable contributor in the quest for useful diabetes information. I am wondering how long will it be, before owning a cat is required to join the forum.

Talking of Big Giv, she has gone into the T shirt business, as usual the apathetic members have blanked her sales job, and the pitch has gone down like a bacon factory in Tel Aviv. Jeez when I think of the marketing opportunities the flog has thrown away over the years it's a crime. I can't see any reputable company getting involved with the flog, maybe a TV company looking for a new angle for a reality TV show. Now that would be a scream. Imagine Bonkers and the Cherub in the hot tub late at night after a few drinks, OK maybe not. How about getting Phoenix to dump the carbs and join the low carb high fat crew, yeah I know, more chance of the Pope becoming a pole dancer than that happening.

The lunatic of the week award has been won by michealdavid. This is the guy who shoots up a lot of insulin in the morning, then chomps bread until 4pm to bring BG numbers down. He tells us he is down to two mmol on his BG meter most of the time, no problem for him he says. This probably explains why he is going batshit. One thing is for sure, he would have had a lot to say to Kenny boy with his Fourrrrrrrrrrrr's the floorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!! bullshit. By the way Fourrrrrrrrrrrr's the floorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!!!!! was Libby's idea for a T shirt slogan which shared equal 1st. prize with Paul's 300 grams of carbs a day keeps the scurvy at bay! Talking of scurvy reminds me of the long departed resident dietitian, more on that chimp next week.

Novro Claphanger Editor in Chief 


Gwen said...

I honestly don't think Faux Suicide Guy nicked the identity. I believe the Twitter guy IS him, and we just caught him, so he moved on before he was further embarrassed. Either way....message boards may come and go, decades pass, but psychos are always there to inhabit them as their psych labs/wards.

Anonymous said...

I'm new to commenting but think to some extent we all live in a Monkey House. This world gets madder and more silly by the day.
Makes it more important to share good stories that uplift.


Anonymous said...

On the breast cancer thread Sid writes "As the thread tittle says" Tits on the brain. Old perv.

wiflib said...

I was thinking the same Gwen. His Twatter profile seems too good to be true. He has got photos of his various ID badges as if he has to prove something and he has an awful lot of working titles.

Ah well, it made for some excellent entertainment.