Total Pageviews

Friday 14 February 2014

DCUK douglas99 first man to win the Golden Turd and Golden Gezza awards simultaneously !



In an unprecedented move, the trustees of the Wallycorker foundation have awarded the Golden Turd and Golden Gezza to douglas99. This is the first time an individual has been awarded both accolades simultaneously. 

In a special all night sitting of the board of trustees the vote was unanimous. The trustees agreed after reading a report from the blogs Chief Scientific Adviser 
Dr Tony Crust. "We have hypothesised for a long time that a level of bullshit and stupidity so incredibly high as to be almost incalculable could theoretically occur at DCUK, but now it appears that we may be close to proving its existence" DCUK bullshit research enjoyed its golden age in the days when Kenny boy was at the helm, but it was probably the discovery of the Total F**kwit Shane, just a few months ago, which revitalized the entire field and led directly to this newest breakthrough. Scientists have dubbed this latest discovery the 'douglas factor'. If confirmed, will represent a level of bullshit several magnitudes above even the Total F**kwit’ explained Dr Crust. "It really is almost impossible to overstate just how high a level of bullshit and stupidity we are talking about here douglas has broke the mould"

Chairman of the board of trustees. Roger (keto warrior) Jenkins stated today “The low carb antis have spouted complete bollocks for years but douglas has taken total crap to a new level. Even when he falls down a sinkhole he never stops digging, this nutter has to have the last word, even when he is wrong, he's completely batshit"

Lord Beantipper was less complimentary and clearly wound up said "How a bloke taking black box cancer warning drugs and statins can spend his life on the flog telling members butter, cream and quality natural fats are dangerous beggars belief" he went on to say "we have seen these low carb, low fat, low calorie merchants before, they are five minute wonders, people have to change their lifestyle for life, not ponce about with 10 minute stop gaps, the boy is doomed unless he wises up and changes his ways"

So there you have it folks, what with Kman, Shane and douglas, the forum is in for some rocky times. Who ever thought we would consider the likes of Jopar, Sid, phoenix, Nobhead and the Cherub as halfway sound individuals. Just goes to show, just when you think you have reached the pinnacle of bullshit, some clown takes it higher.

The Sun

This blog is a bullshit free zone



3 comments:

Anonymous said...

could these awards not be amalgamated or would that suggest that this "gentleman" was a "turd Burglar"

Lowcarb team member said...

Good grief !

Eddie

Anonymous said...

Douglas; got 99 problems but a brain ain't one.

Dillinger